Saturday, 19 March 2016

Iain Duncan Smith's Letter of Resignation (first draft).


I started taking LSD in 2001. Mainly, life had been very slow. I wanted to experience something of the world. Open up my third eye, you know? You've got to make sure you create the right conditions before you trip. That's why I gravitated towards the Conservative party. I needed the right people around me, and I needed the place to be tidy. I did very well at school, once things had settled down. For the last twenty years I have been a victim of extreme sexual molestation. No. Sorry. I keep getting confused. The light is on, the light is off. We've gone too far. I want out. I think I've done too much. No. I haven't done enough. Going to work for Amnesty International for a while. Poor John Cantlie. Someone come down from the sky. Oh fucking God, What have you done? I hereby formally resign from the post of. No. I'm not going to work for your Gulags. My name is Iain and I like LSD and speed and ruthless incredulity. Stick your fucking job.


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