No Clarity

Clarity is obscene so choke me
with abstraction. Clarity is decisions is
          your friends

and equals dying it's your work
as figures lit up in your dreams it's
your bladder painlessly shredded
          with a steak knife

is your managers fucking your sister
from both sides it's your burning
for revenge is the stasis of the vulnerable
it's the deliberate failure for profit
          vs workfare 

is Lauren's tears it's burning in my veins
&,, & years of straining punished

for the expulsion of stress and pain yes
clarity is your payslip & you cannot
          fucking sleep and clarity

is disgustig and I want it all to die
& clarity will cut you it's your muscles
          & your brain death 

so clarity is spat at & clarity is locked

& abstraction it is sanctioned as a
          perfect holy knot

& it is guarded & is cherished
& will warm you up in peace
it will maul you and berate you
          for a very tiny death;

You ane Whose Dildos? (for Tom Archer).

Ballad crangs out bang on
strut nowt
                     fifty lights coined
             face trans* manifestations as a
                     blister with content
as a wasp does flag it
paged with intention seventeen
big hard men swirling on their
dildos lament: I hate you, jokingly.

Each light is a man
hurdling no content
jaspered load up scuttling.

Am: disposed to leaves

am: am,, armor
dice et lamina love heals
nothing is healed by it itself is just
              a feeler
to the wasp grib her back up
open to not light swivel chair
19 percent expectency. Wrestle
it open.

The walls of the
words bend in. Like it or
don't fucking like it, as they say.

click click away

so i lit a candle
for nothing

go on you
light it nothing
         is

    sickness took on
  new forms they told me

i was ill, that i'd better
                have to work

i remember my mother once

     says they just sit there
    with a smile
                           & i love you

    still doesn't mean much
i lit i watched the smoulder
         they gathered up some cloth

.

   & wishes hurricane for you
       concrete all the time
    how i despise you for it said
anachronistic shit like that because
i could say
make a better world & put yourself to sleep
or
make a safer space for us and lay down
   my head. but i am frightened. i know

it isn't right
                     & that i don't
                     know what fear is
more like
wanting after life

& forgiveness never
comes

rocking with your head
   in your palms

   rocking
that no one
                      knows is beautiful.

& i flinch

another dead end. no escapes

my naked body
     i know it's wrong it isn't wrong
     revolting or something i can't look.

The Possible Song

& we never hated this place so much
we burned it,,, mice huddled in a rat
hole,,,, told we are so luminous, we made
the cosmos and its guts, every intricate
detail. & love, not that, together we
can make the abstract noun a verb,
the idea of a street & all of the people
in it: colleagues and endorsements

they came in and showed us twilight
after twilight, ritual correspondance
sun boiling the sea at high tide
words bled across it, violent persuations
any sense of rhythmn shot & perished
sent us to the sewers with cut up hands
took all of our life's work, didn't even
tear it just threw it in the ground where

it could take years to rot, terrible heaven
environments and charms, not there:
mind inconsequence. feet: to be
cherished. Dolls: sat properly, total
fetish: deportment: enforced and not
before time. We were physically sick
refused to do a thing and now there is
nothing we can do,, save your breath.

Call to Scrap

remember my
love that complete is
allocated, clang graft
remember you're not
so special just

hold onto the thing
that noise they keep
eating it you're earning
a future a noise
don't fuck with it
the natural laws cleanse you
ungested,, iron, horrible god:

you're not wrong neither
are you stupid remember
heave
complete is a verb it isn't
finished till it's finished.