Thursday, 14 November 2013
when did i last see you it was at that poetry thing
i felt so stupid. i shouldn't really have been there
rosy does me a lot of favours. but anyway, the thing
that i read from that night was called 'the flesh
called fwan'. it was a long collaboration. i thought
people might find it funny. there's a really precious
level of expectancy around these things though. from
i'm sorry to hear you've been getting pissed off with all those marxists. they can be infuriating. i spent a while this morning reading responses from friends and acquaintances about a conference they recently went to. all this venom spewing back and forth. i don't think a lot of them can countenance the idea of what it looks like from outside the academy. i know i couldn't. i still can't. i'm a little jaded and fooling myself. i'm listening to the most terrible music just now. do you know the band m83? i heard them when i was a teenager and thought they were kind of monumental. they sounds so clean like polished diamonds. i think the thing is
failure again. ambitions are set out like fucking
huge hollow pillars and the manifest thoughts
are just untame birds very hard
to care for these structures / replacements
i like writing to people. since my application was rejected
i've had to have a little think about what to do with everything and my writing has changed a lot. i'm glad of that. it's making me laugh again. oh wait, ban that. what are you reading these days? how's the whole thing treating you? we have to think about jobs too. being an academic marxist is a career choice. i'll probably get some snotty emails, or have some snotty emails written about me for saying that. but it's true. i've spent a lot of tappering on 'career poets', but really all these critic/poets are careerists too. we are all looking for careers. or at least jobs. that's too screwingly obvious. but part of the career path we're talking about is the kind of career where you are employed for your critical capabilities. that's an odd position to be in. 'your job is to say more or less what you want about the current conditions. so long as you stay in employment'. i don't really know what i think, but i know that a year ago i would be rushing to the defense of the people you are attacking. now i'm really unable to do that without feeling quite hollow and wrong. what about this too.
signal ---- signals. & & helplines pause to
remunerate costly ) and advantage is
pressed in the hand / lawyer lawyers of
____choose signals ---- break up the light form
fingers as i choke //// on sex to growl groooowl
so we can helplines to ring we can listen to these smartvoice, dear frank, but hell boils. what doesn't bother you makes...
oh i dunno really. i've got all these catalogues for children's clothes and toys. all pc and yummy. there's nothing good in there though. i'm going to the big boots in town (the one by the clocktower). that place is great. i'll cover myself in all the perfume!
choo choo! xx